A Prima-donna Morning

Today should have been a Monday as hectic as it was. Started out smooth until it came time to get the midget ready for Pre-K. See, I had an appointment at the middle school to help out the twins during a cooking class and being late was not in the cards.

But sometimes being late is Nia's middle name.

Everything worked out fine till it came time to get dressed. Silly Mommy thought Nia would like to dress like a warm princess (since Antarctica decided to pay us a visit this week!), with her pink ballet tu-tu skirt. Nia wasn't having anything to do with it. Instead, she decided it was a day to drag every stitch of clothing out of her drawers, AND what was still in the laundry basket that I didn't finish Monday (or Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday).

We're suppose to be at her school at 9 a.m.,; I'm suppose to be in the twins class at 9:20; it is now 8:55! Why does Nia pick this morning to be such a prima-donna procrastinator?

"I'm late, I'm late.... for a very important date!", I'm singing with my imaginary bunny ears on while hopping around after Nia.

By 9:10, Nia finally decides on her attire which is a combination of both summer and winter couture blended into one big Bohemian mess. Who cares, I GOTTA GO!

All is well until she suddenly decides that ALL the apples and oranges I just bought a the grocery store need to go to school cause they "Don't have any fruit there!", she whines.

No amount of parental firmness is talking her out of taking the fruit. She decides a sit in is in order and she's not budging.

It's now 9:15 and I'm through discussing this with her anymore. I have to go; therefore, I dump the whole kit-n-kaboodle in a paper bag, along with the red heart plate she HAS to display them on and manage to get in the car with her bottom lip still puckered out and her feet, her lunchbox, and her neaopolitan-colored sweater dragging behind her.

She's finally at Pre-K and I'm exceeding the speed limit in a most hazardous way in order to make it to the twins classroom before it's over and I meet them instead, heading for the lunch line. Which will produce a week long sulking/guilt trip on how I am a terrible, neglectful parent to them. Must avoid this at ALL cost cause it's the holidays and I don't have time for sulking, guilt producing twins!

By the time I arrive, marshmallows are already melting on the stove for the Rice Krispy treats they are making. I had no clue what they were cooking up today so I'm letting out a little gag at the thought of fake marshmallows and Rice Krispy's that the twins are going to devour just prior to their lunch. Nadia, of course, has to give me the "You're Late Mom!", look, which makes me realize that she's gonna have a word about this with me later when she gets home from school.

It's the holidays so I'll get over it and join in.

I have no idea why I'm assisting a bunch of kids who already cook like they make this stuff on a daily basis (open mouth - insert finger - gag!). I'm basically the stupid parent standing around doing nothing but acting like I'm doing something, like throwing butter wrappers and paper towels away before they hit the floor and the school gets sued for some kid stepping on one and sliding their way into a prepping table.

Okay, so I am of some use afterall. I'm wondering if some of Nia's prima-donna personality has permeated me somehow.

Did I dare mention that I'm doing all of this in a classroom of very loud 6th graders while sporting a migraine?

Thank you GOD for medication; which doesn't make me feel as much fuzzy as it instead puts me in one of those "I Feel Pretty/Happy", moods. In other words, everything is wonderful; even if one of the stoves exploded from overflowing, chemically-laden marshmallows hitting one of the burners. I don't care! I'm painfree and feeling foo-foo as one of the kids overcooks the butter till it turns brown and leaves the kitchen with that sickly burnt butter smell.

The teacher wanted me to stay for the next class and help out, but I opted to sneak out the back door cause I know the medication isn't going to last that long. I do not need a migraine and more of that burnt butter smell at the same time. My thoughts are on all that laundry I still have to fold; especially the PE shirt that Nadia has to have NOW because she thinks she's going to fail 6th grade if she misses wearing it for one day during gym class.

Neurosis runs rampant in my family.

I am SO looking forward to her teenage years! NOT!!! I'll need more medication then.

I'm now sitting at home looking at two laundry baskets full of laundry, it's cold, and I need another cup of coffee. After the twins cooking class, I feel kinda inspired to make truffles and OD on them this morning. That leads my thoughts wandering to Christmas again.

You know, on a day like today, I think it's best served if I go dig out the Christmas decorations instead. If anyone hasn't heard from me in a few days, you'll find me under a multitude of plastic-filled crates that contain holiday garland and a tacky Santa Claus from Tuesday Morning.

Just listen for the "Deck The Halls" tune, dig me out, and revive me with a creamy chocolate truffle.

Just promise me you won't feed me any of the leftover Rice Krispy treats the twins made today.

A Little Bit of Rambling on a Rainy Day

Let's see, what' happening in our life today? Well, we woke up to it raining cats, dogs, a few frogs with some ducks thrown in this morning. For some reason, the rain made it impossible for the bus drivers to run their routes because all my kids were left out in the rain as not a one of them showed up.

I made two early morning trips to the schools where both of them left so completely drenched from my dash from the garage to the car that I had to completely change my clothes after returning both times.

Nothing like squishy Ugg's. Well at least their washed!

I had to be extra quiet while opening drawers and making a quick change, cause the hubs didn't return home last night till about 2 in the morning, and he had had so much coffee on the way home that he never went to bed till about 4 a.m.

Boy, was HE a joy to see wake up this morning!

Then it was time to take the 4 year old midget to Pre-K. She was up at 6:30 this morning but thought it a better idea to wait till 15 minutes before leaving for school to get herself ready.

I do not ever recommend rushing a four year old to school on a rainy, dreary morning. It's kinda like a Monday, but it's on a Friday and it's all wet and mushy, and all she wants to do is mildew in front of the TV and watch Oswald which I swear is just a bunch of gay characters disguised as a kids cartoon.

Why else would a big blue octopus name their dog "Weinee"? But we can discuss that at a later date and I know I have supporters on this issue.

I get her to school and she's like giving me her 99 hugs before I go when suddenly I realize (and I feel like I repeating another one of my blog posts here):

SHE'S NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR and SHE'S WEARING A SKIRT!!!

This is not the first time she has gone into public forget to don her most important wardrobe accessory, but why did it have to be at school? I mean, grabbing a package of Ariel size 4 bikinis and slipping them on while hiding from the public in a clothes rack in Wal-Mart's is one thing, but to do this in front of your whole stinking class and the boy you just announced you're gonna marry (that story coming soon), is a completely different matter.

Once Nia realizes that I realize that SHE'S is a complete naked ninny under that skirt, she won't let me go. She keeps whispering "shh, shh, shh", in my ear as if THAT'S gonna make the whole issue go away. I'm not saying anything so why is she telling me to "shhhh!"?!

I keep whispering to her that no one knows except her and I; which is a complete lie because her teacher is standing on top of us and she has just given me the "Oh my gosh, your daughter isn't wearing any underwear under her skirt look", and I'm trying to shield my daughter from seeing that particular look on her teacher's face cause it's one of those where the nose contorts to meet the hairline, and it ain't pretty!

Quickly I look up and say "We'll be right back!" Nia and head quickly back to the car, get in, and back home. For some reason, her ability to walk has now been hampered by the fact that I know she isn't wearing underwear. The damn kid is walking as if someone just superglued her legs from the knees up. Kinda like a penguin gait in a pink and green polka dotted ensemble going on here.

Needless to say, we're getting all kinds of weird mommy looks on the way out as if my child has just broken out in a purple rash or something, and they don't want their children exposed. They walk towards us, look at me, look at Nia, then suddenly increase their distance and walk around us as oppose to by us.

I wonder what those stinking church ladies will have to say about this now!

After managing to get in the car, the whole way home she is reciting to me which one(s) of her underwear she would prefer me to pick out. Like I'm gonna choose. Hell no! I'm gonna grab the first pair I find in the laundry basket of clothes that are waiting at home for me to fold anyway. Hopefully it won't be the hubs cause THAT could be kinda even more embarrassing!

Luckily, it's Ariel again. She never argues about Ariel underwear, and if it was so doggone special for her to wear anyway then why weren't they planted on her butt this morning before we went to school?

Then I grabbed her extra change of clothes for school that were SUPPOSE to be there anyway, but Nia brought them back home thinking they WEREN'T suppose to be there anyway.

Back to school with her we go, and after a quick kiss good-bye, you would have never known anything had happened cause she was off skipping to her Benjamin - the boy she's suppose to be marrying.

So it's just another normal day around here as the sun finally peeks out from behind the clouds in order to dry the small rivers near my driveway.

Now, would you like to come over, have a cup of coffee and help me clean up the WHOLE bottle of silver glitter Nia just happen to pour all over her bedroom AND the hallway just so it could be SPARKILY!?