"Joy" Has Come Home Again

It's been awhile since joy has visited my household. For the past few years, we have it very hard while living in Florida. Of course, we DID have the bright idea of moving just before the economy crashed much to my protests. Did I listen to that little voice inside of me saying "Don't freaking move an inch!"? Oh heck no! I listened to a houseful of people screaming "Let's move to the beach!", instead.

Boy did THAT land us in hot water!

Not only did we go through our savings trying to maintain heads above water there, we put our kids in schools that we found out later, they were completely miserable in. I knew my nine year old was having some major issues, but I didn't realize the twins were too until after we moved here.

This did not make for a happy family.

My nine year old went through her entire third grade with a teacher who wouldn't support her because she "diagnosed" my daughter as having ADHD and wasn't going to "help" her until I had her medicated. She singled my child out, which in turn, the other students took the teachers cue and did the same. By the end of the school year, she had no one to play with at recess but herself. I cannot tell how my heart broke for her.

She takes speech therapy, and according to her therapist here, she is way behind what she should be at this time. I don't know WHAT they were doing down in Gulf Breeze Elementary, but in the past few months of school here, she has improved more than in the two years of "therapy" she had in the elementary school there.

She is no longer ridiculed in her class here, and her teacher sees NO signs of ADHD whatsoever in my child. Plus, all the skills in math and language that were lagging in Gulf Breeze, are suddenly escalating here.

She is no longer defiant, angry, and sullen as she once was before we came here. She laughs, plays with her friends, and is the Toni I remember giving birth to. She is now a member of the Chess Club in her school. I wonder what her third grade teacher back in Gulf Breeze would think of that?

Her joy has come back.

The twins are another issue. Everyday after school in Florida these two broke out into fights. Not just typical squabbles (I actually forgot how to spell that word, lol), but serious screaming matches. Their grades were on a constant roller coaster, and at one point, Nadia's grades in fifth grade were spiraling out of control in a downward spin. She wasn't handing in her work, and when the teachers asked her about it, her reply was "I don't care - just give me a zero."

My stomach hit the floor that day when I received the email about it from her teacher. THIS was NOT my Nadia!

After a conference and a LOT of daily support, her grades finally inched back up. I got her involved in volleyball that summer and that seemed to bring her out of the funk she had gotten herself into. She "maintained" through sixth grade, but that nagging feeling that something wasn't right would never leave my gut.

Julian had a GREAT teacher in fifth grade. He was the only teacher who managed to finally get my son back on track in math and study habits. Even when he was out of school for nearly three months with mono, Julian kept up and ended on the A/B honor roll by the end of the year. I cannot tell you how proud I was of him.

When he hit the sixth grade in Gulf Breeze, suddenly his attitude was like "whatever". His grades fluctuated a bit, but he was pretty steady in his progress - even in the advance classes he had manage to land himself in. In fact, it was only those advance classes I ever heard about. His enthusiasm for learning though had all but disappeared.

Turn to current events:

In all that time in Florida, I never once heard my kids say how much they loved their school. In fact, I always heard (but wasn't listening), how much they hated school. Today, I hear how much they love it every... single... day! The stress around our home life is lifting as things are looking much better financially here than they did in Gulf Breeze. That helps a lot, but the fact that my kids constantly tell me how much they love their schools and what they are doing in it makes a HUGE difference in all of our lives.

Nadia's biggest thorn has been math - in Drake Middle School here... she loves her math class; it's one of her favorites! It took me a few days to get over that one. The twins love their science class and are constantly talking about all the stuff they've learned in Dr. Jones class because he excites their imaginations in a way I've never seen.

Their joy has come back.

There are no clicks in this middle school, there aren't even "advance" classes for certain students. In this middle school, they don't aim to make everyone "even", they strive to bring ALL the students up to their highest potential. In other words, all the students study advance classes instead of having everyone on the same plateau with only a "few" enjoying the benefits of advance classes. Those students who are lagging, get individual, one-on-one assistance to bring them UP.

Every nine weeks a party is held in the school for all the students as a whole (6th and 7th graders). We're not talking about a few moms bringing in cupcakes and kool-aid (yuck! Do people really still drink that stuff?). I'm talking turning the cafeteria into a dance hall with karaoke and fog machines, some serious cake walks, games indoors and out, as many parent/teacher chaperones as the eye can see, and a BUNCH of very enthusiastic and happy students. The entire school is turned into a party!

In Florida, the middle school cut out all the parties except for an end-of-the-year party. It made me think the other day "Were the twins were in some sort of school prison there?", LOL!

We were recently told by an individual who works for the Department of Education, that the schools in Auburn were considered college prep schools because of their approach to teaching. These are not private schools I'm talking about, but pubic institutions that take getting these kids into college very seriously. Where most schools systems are running a deficit, Auburn city schools have a surplus. There is a reason that new student registration has taken a serious jump here recently.

Today I feel so immensely blessed by the constant sounds of laughter and joy in my house that I thought were long gone. To hear my oldest daughter in constant states of belly-laughing is priceless.

I feel fortunate enough to live in a community that really cares about ALL the kids here - young and old - and where racial lines are practically a blur by the way those kids interact with one another. Where Auburn University supports these kids, and we in turn support it.

I feel blessed that we live in a community that understands and embraces a healthy lifestyle and promotes it through community stores and through the churches as well. It's not looked at as "New Age", or "A thing that those people do." Where acupuncture is NOT an eleven-letter bad word.

Even though five of us in this family have been dealing with an ear infection for a month, that just doesn't want to go away; for once in a long time, life for all of us is working out just fine. We've actually been communicating and acting like a normal family; something that I thought was permanently lost. I didn't realize just how much my kids had been hurting until we got here.

Even though our lines of communication have usually been very open in the past, in Gulf Breeze, I think some things were too big for any of us to talk about. Now they are not; now they're a memory we now reflect and try to learn from.

We're blessed and I'm thankful to God for it, for without him through all of this, we would never be where we are at this moment.

It is so good around here that I completely forgot about taking my Lexapro one day.

That was 2 months ago.

A Prima-donna Morning

Today should have been a Monday as hectic as it was. Started out smooth until it came time to get the midget ready for Pre-K. See, I had an appointment at the middle school to help out the twins during a cooking class and being late was not in the cards.

But sometimes being late is Nia's middle name.

Everything worked out fine till it came time to get dressed. Silly Mommy thought Nia would like to dress like a warm princess (since Antarctica decided to pay us a visit this week!), with her pink ballet tu-tu skirt. Nia wasn't having anything to do with it. Instead, she decided it was a day to drag every stitch of clothing out of her drawers, AND what was still in the laundry basket that I didn't finish Monday (or Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday).

We're suppose to be at her school at 9 a.m.,; I'm suppose to be in the twins class at 9:20; it is now 8:55! Why does Nia pick this morning to be such a prima-donna procrastinator?

"I'm late, I'm late.... for a very important date!", I'm singing with my imaginary bunny ears on while hopping around after Nia.

By 9:10, Nia finally decides on her attire which is a combination of both summer and winter couture blended into one big Bohemian mess. Who cares, I GOTTA GO!

All is well until she suddenly decides that ALL the apples and oranges I just bought a the grocery store need to go to school cause they "Don't have any fruit there!", she whines.

No amount of parental firmness is talking her out of taking the fruit. She decides a sit in is in order and she's not budging.

It's now 9:15 and I'm through discussing this with her anymore. I have to go; therefore, I dump the whole kit-n-kaboodle in a paper bag, along with the red heart plate she HAS to display them on and manage to get in the car with her bottom lip still puckered out and her feet, her lunchbox, and her neaopolitan-colored sweater dragging behind her.

She's finally at Pre-K and I'm exceeding the speed limit in a most hazardous way in order to make it to the twins classroom before it's over and I meet them instead, heading for the lunch line. Which will produce a week long sulking/guilt trip on how I am a terrible, neglectful parent to them. Must avoid this at ALL cost cause it's the holidays and I don't have time for sulking, guilt producing twins!

By the time I arrive, marshmallows are already melting on the stove for the Rice Krispy treats they are making. I had no clue what they were cooking up today so I'm letting out a little gag at the thought of fake marshmallows and Rice Krispy's that the twins are going to devour just prior to their lunch. Nadia, of course, has to give me the "You're Late Mom!", look, which makes me realize that she's gonna have a word about this with me later when she gets home from school.

It's the holidays so I'll get over it and join in.

I have no idea why I'm assisting a bunch of kids who already cook like they make this stuff on a daily basis (open mouth - insert finger - gag!). I'm basically the stupid parent standing around doing nothing but acting like I'm doing something, like throwing butter wrappers and paper towels away before they hit the floor and the school gets sued for some kid stepping on one and sliding their way into a prepping table.

Okay, so I am of some use afterall. I'm wondering if some of Nia's prima-donna personality has permeated me somehow.

Did I dare mention that I'm doing all of this in a classroom of very loud 6th graders while sporting a migraine?

Thank you GOD for medication; which doesn't make me feel as much fuzzy as it instead puts me in one of those "I Feel Pretty/Happy", moods. In other words, everything is wonderful; even if one of the stoves exploded from overflowing, chemically-laden marshmallows hitting one of the burners. I don't care! I'm painfree and feeling foo-foo as one of the kids overcooks the butter till it turns brown and leaves the kitchen with that sickly burnt butter smell.

The teacher wanted me to stay for the next class and help out, but I opted to sneak out the back door cause I know the medication isn't going to last that long. I do not need a migraine and more of that burnt butter smell at the same time. My thoughts are on all that laundry I still have to fold; especially the PE shirt that Nadia has to have NOW because she thinks she's going to fail 6th grade if she misses wearing it for one day during gym class.

Neurosis runs rampant in my family.

I am SO looking forward to her teenage years! NOT!!! I'll need more medication then.

I'm now sitting at home looking at two laundry baskets full of laundry, it's cold, and I need another cup of coffee. After the twins cooking class, I feel kinda inspired to make truffles and OD on them this morning. That leads my thoughts wandering to Christmas again.

You know, on a day like today, I think it's best served if I go dig out the Christmas decorations instead. If anyone hasn't heard from me in a few days, you'll find me under a multitude of plastic-filled crates that contain holiday garland and a tacky Santa Claus from Tuesday Morning.

Just listen for the "Deck The Halls" tune, dig me out, and revive me with a creamy chocolate truffle.

Just promise me you won't feed me any of the leftover Rice Krispy treats the twins made today.

Congrats to Gulf Breeze Middle School Robotics Team - But Where Was The Support From The School??

Gulf Breeze Middle School 2009-10 Robotics Team

I want to start out by congratulating my son, his nine other teammates, and their teacher Mr. Fearon, for advancing to the semi-finals of the Robotics Competition here in Pensacola, FL. I am immensely happy and proud of my son and all his teammates for this. They were never expected to get this far.

"Big Deal!", you may say, but the point is, since budget cuts in our middle school forced it to end the Science Olympiad program, the Robotics Program replaced it and this the first time/first year that this middle school has ever competed.

The kids are given a rag tag group of parts which include pieces of PVC pipe, some wood, and some electronics to put together to make the "brain" of the robot, and to make the servo(s) to move the robot around via a radio control console. It is designed to pick objects up, move objects around, and gather objects into their area and are judged based on effectiveness of supplies used and ability to gather these objects effortlessly.

If you had seen them last week, you would have thought they didn't have a chance. But what a week makes in the areas of revamping and redesign, and some major determination by a group of boys. They knocked it out of the ballpark by being one of the four teams chosen to advance to the semi-finals out of 21 other schools competing today.

Telling them "good job", just doesn't cut here. They were the underdogs of the underdogs and those boys proved themselves WITHOUT the support of anyone but themselves.

"Huh? What does that mean?", one of might be asking if you are still reading this because it contains plain old boring science that most people don't care about unless your fighting for your survival after just moving your whole family here from a third world country, or you're one of those who already been labeled a "geek" by your peers of whatever age.

My son's school offered less than admirable support for these kids who diligently met twice a week for several weeks trying to build the brain and the robot, while not breaking strict rules of design in the process. When Friday came, a small - less than enthusiastic - announcement was made over the middle school loudspeaker:

"Please be sure to **yawn** join the Robotics Team **yawn** on Saturday for the Robotics Competions at UWF **yawn, yawn**. It starts at 8:30 in the morning."

And I am sure the announcement was met with a lot of comments like, "BOR-ing", and "I'm gonna be sleeping at that time", or "I've got a football game instead."

I was unable to attend because I got hit in the middle of the night with one of my bad-timing migraines. I licked the headache, but the meds had been dragging my head around the house in a cardboard box, so driving was completely out of the question for me. So the hubs "volunteered" himself, which really wasn't volunteering he did, but rather him being under the gun from my threats that he was sleeping in his car for the next week if he didn't take our son and show roaring support for all the time, energy, and enthusiasm he had put into this thing.

There should have been a few more out there like me when it came to generating ANY support from Gulf Breeze Middle School. See, no one from the school except some kid dressed in a tacky dolphin costume showed up to support these kids who ranged from 6th to 8th grade.

I know, I know, it *looks* like a shark, but it IS a dolphin

As my son and hubs told me, there were bleachers set up for those who came out to support their school. Gulf Breeze Middle School's bleachers were completely EMPTY while the other 21 schools came complete with mascots, cheerleaders, band members, and PLENTY of parental and other adult support to fill their bleachers.

Gulf Breeze Middle Schools support was reduced to a couple of parents (the hubs included), those 10 teammates and their teacher, and...

the kid in the tacky dolphin costume.

OH, and the OTHER'S schools support supplied THEIR team with plenty of water and snacks to fortified their little brain cells pumping out as much mental energy as possible for a competition that lasted from 8 in the morning to 5 p.m. Other teams support were even handing out "souvenirs" in support of their teams in the forms of small banners, buttons, pens, balloons filled with sand, etc.

Our team had nothing.... nada... not jack s***! Just a few boys, their parts, and their own handmade spirit... plus a few parents who DIDN'T get sidelined by a stupid migraine.

These schools had cheerleaders and rows of tubas playing Ozzie Osbourne tunes and "We Will Rock You", as my son as his team stood and watched their rows of empty bleachers, and a half-witted mother of one of them run around freaking out how her printer blew up and "burned" the logo that my son spent three days designing for the t-shirts that never were made.

Did I mention that the other schools had professional t-shirts or uniforms made for their competition? No, well I just thought I might mention that in case the PRINCIPAL of our middle school wanted to know.

But the moral of this whole story is exactly what I told my son this evening after he told me one of the other teams offered him a Dum-Dum after seeing they nothing in the form of snacks to eat, at around 1:00; in which my son just happened to cut his tongue after licking it, which signal to him a bad omen so he threw it away.

I told him that succeeding doesn't always include people in your corner cheering you on and laying offerings and gifts at your feet as you proceed. Sometimes it is through adversity and hardwork that you only succeed. No one might have been there for you, but all of you were there for each other and not one of you gave up on the possibilty of winning. Stuff like that isn't given to you; you either have or you don't, and in this case all of them had it and not one of them let it go. That is not easy to do when you're the only one without a fan club cheering you on.

It seemed like the middle school just didn't have an "interest" in what these kids were doing; that it was just another filler program for "some" kids to get involved in - nothing more. But there is something more; the fact that these kids turned a first year program into something for themselves. But I guarantee you that the school will turn around and make into something that the school did in order to look good for their community here.

I want to make it clear that there was little to no support for these kids from their own school, it's administration, it's own PTA, and it's peers. What they did was a direct result of the heart and soul that each child put into that robot, and one amazing teacher in Mr. Casey Fearon who fostered each of their imaginations and assisted their drive to do their best.

I am prouder of my son and these kids because with everything going against them; inexperience, intimidation, lack of support, etc., they still rose to the occasion and believed in what they did and in one another.

I for one am having my son remake his logo and I will be making and purchasing the shirts out of my own pocket money. If any other GBMS administrator, parent, or PTA member is reading this, I suggest you ask Mr. Fearon how you may contribute as well.

It may not be a stinking Dolphins football game under the bright lights of a stadium every Friday night, but these boys are our future and deserve just as much money, time, support, and respect as the shining linebacker or quarterback of that said football team.

So how about it Mr. Richard Cobb, Principal of Gulf Breeze Middle School? Do you think you could spare a little time, a few cheerleaders, a couple of band members, and maybe make one of those special mass phone calls to each parent and generate a little more support for these kids when they hit the semi-finals in two weeks?

Feel free to email this guy or his administration to help generate some support for these kids, and you don't have to be just a "geek" to do so. I'll be contacting our local newspaper to generate a little support of my own come Monday morning.

Go Dolphins! - Robot Style!!