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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sick Kids and Sucky Language

It's been hard for me to get back to writing because for the past three weeks, I've been dealing with one sick kid after another; and I have four you know! Between Nia and Nadia, I've been keeping our neighborhood pharmacy busy of late. They're actually calling me on a daily basis and asking if I need something.


Nia had decided to catch everything coming and going so as to get all over with in one quick swoop for the year. The girl is goal oriented at four! Her pre-k teachers are wondering if she's a early drop out statistic because she's missed so many days. Her latest bout is an extremely painful lymph node under her right arm that sent her into fever and puking mode again. She's fine today though.


I cannot tell you how much laundry I've done, and re-done, over the past three weeks. The water bill is going to be astronomical this month! We won't even go into the amount of disinfectant wipes I've been through. I've hit OCD status again!


I have seemed to met my quota of chocolate consumption this year as I have been holed up in this house tending to all these sick kids for three weeks, and with sucky cold weather to boot. NO ONE will step foot out the door in this stuff. We would never make it in Minnesota - we're such wimps!


I have decided that once the weather warms up and the kids are back to being themselves again, I see a long bike ride to California and back in my future! I need some space and time to myself, and a chance to wear those new Miss Sixty shoes I pined away for for a few years cause wearing them around the house just ain't the same as donning them out in public!


Ever held a puking kids head while wearing $167.00 shoes!



Then there is the issue of what I learned that my son and the sperm donor have been learning via the Xbox Live of late - a game called Nazi Zombies to be exact.


Yeah, he and I are still separating; it's just gonna be the longest separation in known history!


But back to the Xbox Live thing. If your kid is eight years old and is "allowed" to have that Xbox 360 in his own room; I guarantee it is that same eight year old that I hear on the microphone cussing his freaking brains out while playing Nazi Zombies online.


If you think your kids are learning sex ed in school - think again! If they play Xbox Live in the "privacy" of their bedrooms, then they are discussing about M.I.L.F., (email me if you are in the dark about this acronym and I'll fill you in!), and the how's and why's of what they'd like to do!


I had NO idea that eight year old boys knew SO much! It was enough to make the hubs blush one night and stop playing at 2:30 in the morning!


THIS is why the Xbox is under my thumb, and 10 feet away from my supervision when Julian is playing. At one point he blurted out "You Suck!", while playing. Momma whipped her head around and gave the boy a look that said "You say that again and you'll find your lips attached to the vacuum cleaner hose as I turn it on high!"


It was either that or it was gonna be a re-enactment in my bathroom of Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" sucking down Lifebuoy after unloading the F-bomb on his dad.


Julian prefers games like Modern Warfare II or Call of Duty cause he became interested in WWII stuff after learning about his great grandfathers participation in this historical war.


It's the significant other who seems to be "addicted" (till wee hours of the morning), to this Nazi Zombie game. It seems the later at night that it is played, the worse the language becomes from the young boys he plays with. He pretends to be a little kids and I have to laugh hysterically while he mimics being a 12 year old so as not to freak the other kids out.


But I've heard these kids - he put the earphones on me one night so I could hear it for myself.


OH. MY. GOD!!!!!



All the strides towards anti-racism, tolerance, compassion, anti-homophobia has COMPLETELY fallen on deaf ears with the kids on this game. If I repeated even one little string of what I've heard, I would be thrown off the internet for life!


So parents: IF you have your child's Xbox 360 in their room and they are playing online games - GET IT OUT NOW!! Because every bit of your parental authority and guidance is going down the tubes if you don't.


Right now, I have Julian beside me as he's playing, and I can hear everything he says and what the other person says. If I don't like it, the plug is right next to me as well and it's real easy to pull that sucker from where I sit!


THAT'S my parental authority in action!


My sister-n-law DID NOT raise me to be a stupid parent!


So after three weeks of sick kids and hearing sucky language so bad that it would even make God's ears bleed, I'm reading to find a cave somewhere at the beach and hide in until...... June!


Unfortunately, I do not live where there are caves at this beach. I'm on the wrong side of the country! At a time like this.... it figures.


Today, though, I'm hoping for a little time out of the house with the one kid that hasn't come down with some mysterious malady. Toni and I are going to hop in the van and see where life takes us this afternoon.


When we get to California, I'll call home to see how everyone else is doing!

11 comments:

Draft Queen said...

Oh good heavens with the sick kiddos! Hope everyone is healthy again soon.

As for the language, I'm scared.

But you can't have the longest separation in history, as I have it. That Guy and I got separated in 2005 (I filed for divorce Jan 2, 2006) and I'm still not divorced.

It's kind of a mess that way. At this point, I'm used to it.

But I'm engaged to be married again 7-3-19 so I really need a divorce by then.

Gordon said...

Good To Have You Back! Hope All Improves With The Kids. Watch Closely Lot Of Maddness Out There!

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

Uh Draft Queen - I'd say you better get a move on that divorce girl!

Tara R. said...

Oh my... you do need a break, and more chocolate in the form of a Godiva martini.

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

Yes Tara I do! I found a wonderful recipe here for some outstanding chocolate martini's:

http://www.martiniart.com/chocolatemartinirecipes.aspx

*Yum* *Yum* *Kiss* *Kiss*

Riding the Roller Coaster said...

Hello! I'm visiting from the MBC Aspiring Writers group. I love this post, especially the last 3 sentences. I hope everyone feels better soon and that you got to California (or wherever life took you) ok! :)

Jen said...

I hope everyone is feeling better.
And you are right, Minnesota sucks right now. I can't look at anymore snow.

We have a Wii so we don't play most of those games but I'd go for the lifeboy.

Have fun in CA!

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

Jen, trust me! The Wii is MUCH safer!!

紀錄 said...

感覺很用心經營呢!鼓勵鼓勵........................................

Gingers Mom said...

I am sorry you kids are so sick! Like parenthood isn't hard enough with out the creepy crud. Sorry about your separation too. Are you divorcing, or just taking a break? You are a riot. You deserve to be happy.

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

谢谢我的朋友!