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Friday, January 08, 2010

Cold Weather - Who Cares! Let's Talk Shoes!!


It seems to be the theme to write about the weather right now. It's cold, it's snowing, who cares. It's not like it's never happened before. The only difference is that God forgot to turn the A/C off in Florida and we are in a bit of a freeze because of it.



Dear God,


Please turn the heat up a bit; it's getting a little too cold down here.


Plus my cat sat down on the porch last night and we haven't been able to detach his frozen butt from the concrete.


Thank you sincerely!



Though I do have to tell you about the lady in the post office this morning because I think that she is testament to a true Floridian. In other words; doesn't matter how cold it gets down here, a true Floridian will never succumb to it.


I'm waiting in line to mail off a, like, 50 pound book I sold on Amazon yesterday. This woman walks in wrapped in just about every article of clothing she owned from her closet. She had two pairs of leggings on (I could tell cause they were layered), a rather heavy looking skirt/dress/Muu Muu, a turtleneck sweater peaking out from underneath a polar fleece jacket/shirt/whatever, and topped with a rather large and bulky looking purple down coat that came almost to her knees. She was also sporting one of those knit caps with a big fuzzy ball on top.


Did I mention she was 40-something?


Her child, who was about 3 months old and in a car carrier, was also bound together with one of those car bunting things that keep the kid completely immobile except when they need to cry cause they're wondering why, oh why, their mother would put such an encumbering article of clothing on them in the first place.


My eyes eventually traveled down to her.... shoes. If that's what you could call them in subzero temperatures this morning. The woman and her kids were wrapped as if they were headed on the next plane to Antarctica. Until I saw those shoes. There she was in sheepskin lined flip flops! I really don't care how much sheepskin was on those shoes, it was not enough to keep her red, nearly frostbitten, nicely manicured toes, the least bit warm this morning at a balmy 18 degrees - wind chill 10 degrees!


This is how you can tell a true Floridian. They will rebel, somehow, someway, to least bit of cold arctic air that blows down from Canada by wearing extreme summer gear on their feet as if some miracle from the weather gods will make the temperature shoot up to 80 by 10 a.m., so their feet can hit the sand and surf while dancing the "I live in Florida and you don't!", dance on some half hurricane beaten sand dune.


Which this is also the reason my whole mind frame turned away from the weather and on shoes instead. I finished my errands and headed home for a little *monitor* shopping. I was actually looking for Nadia, but somehow my fingers just happened to type size 8.5 instead of 6 when searching on eBay.


Now HOW did THAT happen?


Suddenly, THERE they were! I don't know if anyone of you out there ever get obsessed about a certain shoe and you just can't get it out of your head?


Okay, stupid question. Of course you do! How thoughtless of me!


My obsession started about two years ago over these 169.99 wedges - which I have NO idea why they even add the .99 on the price tag when consciously all KNOW it means $170.00 - from the Victoria's Secret catalog


They were not just your average everyday wedges that we find on sale at our fav Tar-GET' or the "I wanna pretend I'm shopping on Rodeo Drive" department store. No! They were "Miss Sixty" shoes.


There are a few of us who could bitch slap if you don't know who/what "Miss Sixty" shoes are, but I can give you the benefit of the doubt this once.... just this once though!


But I have had a serious obsession with this one style, but by the time they went on sale in the catalog to an acceptable level that didn't leave me feeling that I had to pawn the twins in order to buy them - Victoria's Secret had the audacity to NOT carry my size in ANY color whatsoever.


The nerve!!


For two years now, I have been searching ....


(on and off cause I'm not that obsessive

- I do have somewhat of a life -


--- okay, I lied, I don't have a life!),


on eBay and several other shopping sites for this particular style. My searches failed as I could never find my size. I did think about carving the sides of my feet with my soduku knife in order painfully stuff slide it into a size 7.5.


Luckily, there was still some common sense left in a few brain cells cause the price tag on that particular size was $95.


Well, Lady Luck finally decided to pay me a visit this afternoon soon after I completely on purpose accidentally entered my size instead of Nadia's in the search field on eBay.


There they were in all their pristine, highly expensive, much sought after glory!







I literally fell backward out of my chair on onto poor Chowder, who was quietly sleeping behind me on the floor but was soon hanging off the blinds, when I saw the price tag.


$45 freaking dollars!


Let me say that I am a cheap wad and usually do NOT pay even this much for shoes. I have four kids and at this point in my life, their needs usually come first and I end up wearing their hand-me-downs if I am lucky to receive them before massive chocolate and grass stains have ruined their ability to be turned into something "couture".


But these were "Miss Sixty", $169.99, massively searched for, hard to find, cork wedges that I am SURE that my SIL, Deborah, is gonna give me hell for wearing something so out-of-date.


But I have been obsessed with these shoes for two years, and as I see it, anything that captures one's attention for that long MUST be placed on a satin pillow, under a glass enclosure, and sitting on a mahogany and marble surface with a light shining upon it, slap dab in the middle of one's closet.


Sound of angels singing AHHHHHHHHHHH!



Plus, they go with anything!



Sound of angels singing HALLELUJAH!



So my solution to bad weather and to those who have the snow bound crazies, is a little shoe shopping. After all, spring is coming; and one can never be too early to do a little shopping for the coming season!


Plus it always helps when our moms give us a little cash for Christmas that doesn't all have to be spent on the kids, food, and bills. I've had a funky year, so I really feel like I deserved these $169.95 turned $45 wedgies.


But there's still a problem. Oh yeah, you KNOW I can't get through one of these posts without the existence of a "glitch".


See, about a month and a half ago while walking through the park, me and my most graceful self "fell" off a 10 inch boundary around the kids park. This resulted in my twisting my right ankle to a point where a felt a stomach puking riiiiippppp next the the humpy bone thingy on the outside of my foot (it's called the lateral malleous, for those who actually know their anatomy).


I was trying really hard to ignore the pain searing in my foot that was either gonna cause me to actually puke on the poor guy who came to my rescue (not the opposite sex I married who was too busy tuning out my gasps for help), or pass out on his knees thus leaving him unable to flip the burgers burning on his nearby grill for his own family.


You will never know HOW embarrassing it was for THAT stranger to see MY legs that I had NEGLECTED to shave for the past TWO DAYS! Who CARES about the pain - HE saw me with RAZOR STUBBLE!!


But then again, I didn't expect anyone to get a close inspection on the legs that day. Remember that piece of advice your moms gave you about clean underwear in case you get into an accident and wind up in a hospital? The same applies for unshaven legs.


Since Julian and I had already moved in overspent our time in our local ER in the past year few months, I was in no mood to visit them again since this time all the ER staff agreed that I had to supply the coffee and doughnuts next time. I neither wanted doughnuts, nor another visit to the ER, so I opted this time to ice it down at home.


It stayed swollen for over a week which should have been my clue to get my stupid butt to the doctor, but I was still having ER flashbacks and suffering from PTSD from those many nights and days there, and couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone and call for an appointment to any doctor in the area.


Me bad - me stupid - me have absolutely NO brain cells left!


I found out only last night while Nadia and I were trying on shoes at the store, and only last night because I have been living in my Uggs since the twisted ankle and all the cold weather hit, that I cannot even endure the PAIN it takes to stand on anything above a 1/2 inch heel due to my twisting, and ignoring, my ankle.


Momma is pissed!


I had the hubs stabbing every acupuncture needle he could find in his little black bag, into my ankle last night in order to get this fixed now!


On Monday morning, there IS going to be a phone call to some doctor in this area and I AM gonna be hysterical cause he HAS to fix this ankle BEFORE springtime because I HAVE to get into this "Miss Sixty's" or .......


LIFE


will


come


to an end


as I now


know it!




Let's get pass the point that you probably think the shoes suck, or that they are so two years ago, or that even that I'm nuts. We all know I'm nuts, okay! It's about the passion, the perseverance, and the fact that this all started today over a freaking woman wearing sheepskin flip flops with her down coat in freezing weather!


Next week the temps are scheduled to go back up.


My "Miss Sixties" will be arriving in the mail at about the same time (just got the tracking number this evening).


I plan on being in those shoes soon thereafter, whether I have the ankled fixed or have to down several doses of Percodan in order to maintain a straight up, pain-free, position while wearing them.


THEY are that important!


Now, as I slip into my faux fur lined straight jacket, I'm gonna sit back and imagine what my coiffed manicured feet are gonna look like in those shoes.


I wonder if that's what that woman did when slipped on her fuzzy flip flops this morning.

13 comments:

Tara R. said...

You must literally live on a roller coaster. Girl! get that ankle checked out so you can work those shoes!

Stay warm!

(I would have loved to see a pic of the post office lady.)

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

I had a picture, but I couldn't pull it off my new phone. Haven't quite figured out how to do that yet. But it looks like just the pads of her feet might have been warm, LOL!

Name: Holly Bowne said...

Ha, ha, ha! What a great story! And yes, I'm currently obsessed with a pair of black leather boots. They're too expensive right now, so I just go into my local shoe store every few weeks and try them on again. Sigh. Someday...

Sara Elizabeth said...

Thank you so much for that much needed belly laugh. You are hysterical!

Those shoes are so cute! I agree with the first comment, get that ankle looked at so you can wear those shoes. :)

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

Sara, as always, you rock!

Cinnamon-Girl Reeni♥ said...

The shows are adorable! I love cork wedges. I couldn't find a cute pair this past summer for anything. I hope your foot feels better so you can enjoy them! The lady reminds me of when I lived in Az - in the winter people insist on wearing flip flops and sandals - with socks! EWW! So ugly.

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

Sounds like the snowbirds attire in Miami!

Brenda said...

I completely support you in what may sound like insanity to someone else. Because it IS all about the shoes. Shoes make it all better. Well, except, um, for broken bones.

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

That's right girlfriend - it IS about the shoes!

Mommi said...

I just dropped by your post, I simply loved it & would love to read your other posts too.

Gingers Mom said...

If I could figure a way I would shanghai the postman in your neightborhood and run away like a fiend with those shoes. They are worth ever owie induced step! Sorry about your ankle...but DAMN...nice shoes.

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

And this is why I've had a two year obsession with these shoes.

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

BTW, Just got the shoes and they are freaking awesome!!!!