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Showing posts with label coffee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coffee. Show all posts

Friday, November 12, 2010

I'll Take a Can of Whipped Cream With That, Please!

There is nothing more disturbing than having your morning coffee ruined. I woke up this morning, pour myself a cup of "wake up and deal with the freaking kids", only to find after a few sips..... it tasted rather odd.


Apparently, my oldest daughter made tea for herself, which in turn, the hubs used the same water to pour in the French press. Only problem with it was, my daughter left multiple tea bags in the water and that water ended up in the coffee as it was brewing.


May I tell you that you will never find that concoction on a Starbucks menu.... trust me!


Grant it it was English Breakfast tea, but English Breakfast and French Roast do not mix. That is why the French helped us win the American Revolution and we dumped the English tea in the Boston Harbor. End of story!



Many things going on around here.... notice my long silence since last post.



First:


I do ask your prayers for my Aunt Mary as my Uncle Vic passed away on the 8th due to lung cancer. The only saving grace (if one can call it that at this time), is that he didn't have to suffer a long and painful process with this disease. He left us shortly after he was diagnosed. It doesn't make it any better on his wife and my cousins though. They still lost a dedicated father and husband; and no one should have to go through that.


He will be taken from Tennessee to North Carolina this weekend to lie in rest next to my cousin, his step-daughter, who died two years ago herself. My Aunt has had a lot of grief in her life these past few years upon losing her daughter first, and now her husband of many, many years. She is sick from battling pneumonia herself, which she contracted shortly after my Uncle was diagnosed.


Even though my Aunt Mary is one of the strongest people I know, she needs a lot of prayers sent her way. This I humble ask from you, for her.




Second:


Here's a twist for you: I'm getting into the cosmetic industry. Can't give all the details yet because I don't want to "jinx" what's already in the works, but it involves working with a company out of Paris - Oui', Oui' - and I couldn't be more excited. So far everything is working smoothly, there are just some tiny details to work out. I will tell you one thing, nobody in the U.S., has what I'm getting..... nobody!


And it took me a long damn time to find them! Viva La France!



Third:


So I've made it through three birthdays in October, and Halloween, and I still have my mental faculties still intact. Now I've got to get through my birthday, Thanksgiving, the total and complete chaos of Christmas and New Years, and then I plan on passing out cold on January 2nd, for a week; just as I always have for the past five years.


What I haven't expected is endless amount of "illnesses" we've been plagued with this season. We ALL got the ear infection that wouldn't go away. Have you E..VER contracted an ear infection for two months AND counting? Well.... we have.


We thought it was swimmer's ear since the hubs thought it a good idea to "skimp" on the amount of chemicals needed to shock the pool in the name of saving money. Talk about Karma kicking you in the arss. He, Julian, Toni, and Nia all came down with the same ear infection that no amount of the four different swimmer's ear products could get rid of.


Then I switched to the prescribed ear drops that my own ENT gave me during one of my visits to him. THAT didn't work.


Then I did a home remedy of rubbing alcohol mixed with white distilled vinegar. Worked for a couple of days, then all came roaring back.


Then we were taking something like 9 thousand assorted herbs to control the infection and keep it from getting worse.


Oh, did I mention that I finally got the infection a week and a half after they did? Only problem was..... I never went into the pool during said "lack of pool shock" moment.


Did I also mention that this was the FIRST ear infection that the hubs has e...VER had in his life? Or that his had the absolute WORSE case of "smelly shoe" drainage I have ever had the displeasure of getting my nose in the vicinity of. Now we know a second use for those massive bottles of aromatherapy we having hanging around here. If you ever have "smelly ear" syndrome, grab that bottle of aromatherapy oils you were given as a present sometime in the past 10 years and had NO clue what to do with. Trust me when I say that it will knock that smell out of the park!


Did I also mention that this is the first ear infection that I've ever seen that lasted more than a week? I'm a veteran of ear infections and surgeries since I was three. I's ed..U...ca...ted in these kinds o' matters. That's why I was consulting other doctor.... Dr. Mom, and she confirmed this for me.


After several trips to one stupid GP in the area who completely refused to culture it cause "HE KNEW" it was bacterial just by looking at it (dumb shit!), I packed them all off to my own ENT, but only after I had to wait nearly 3 weeks just to get in!


By the time we got to that ENT appointment, the infection had nearly burnt itself out by that time (after 2 months it should have!). All I cared about by then was that no one had any lasting damage from it. So far, I'm the only one still sporting this sucker. My ENT has put me on new medication, but we are all still in for a few more rounds of check ups to make sure we are ALL still able to hear one another yell at each other.


Just one of those little perks we big families completely rely on.... the ability to yell from one room to another and be heard in the process.


This sounds like it's the end of the story, but NooooOOOOOOoooooo! GET back in your seat and finish reading this!


Nia spent her little holiday yesterday sporting her own set of gigantic marble-sized lymph nodes along with a healthy fever and a side red side of...... Strep Throat! Yes, I'll find her a doctor for this afternoon. We know you don't mess around with Strep Throat these days.


Man... when it rains, it POURS at my house!


On a lighter side though..... through all this, I have found that hiding in a closet and ingesting mounds of whipped cream from a can (organic, of course), has become a new "fettish" of mine. It has joined me with my stash of dark chocolate in there. It is amazing to me what we mom's will do for a little "down time".



Ooh La LA! Il est magnifique!

Monday, February 01, 2010

WARNING: Bored Domesticated Female on the Loose!

Haven't been inspired to write this past week because frankly, I got a really, really bad case of Boreditis. Let me tell you something, there is NOTHING worse than a bored housewife, mom, 40-something woman who is on the verge of being pre-menopausal! You know when we moms get really bored, we do serious shopping. That can be a dangerous thing to the bank account. But since it's the first of the month and already, I am completely broke - that just isn't an option at the moment.



I know what some of you are thinking: "You have 4 kids and you are bored! WHAT is wrong with you!! Don't you find fulfilling their every whim and desire on a 24/7 basis simply the most wonderful thing that life has to offer?"



Well... uh... yes I have four children and.... uh.... no to the crazy person who suggested that last question.


All this started the other day when the kids were at school and I should have been doing my usual list of slavework "chores" before they got home. Instead, I've been "stuck" on rebellion mode and frankly, have no stinking interest whatsoever in doing this same hum drum BS another day.


Here is the whole exciting list that usually occupies my every waking moment of every waking day:


  1. Wake up
  2. Wake kids up
  3. Make coffee
  4. Turn computer on
  5. Wake kids up again
  6. Pull out all the breakfast stuff that they usually turn their noses up to, and prepare for another food battle
  7. Wake kids up again
  8. Have first cup of coffee while checking emails
  9. Stomp in bedrooms and make one frantic attempt to wake the kids up before they miss the bus in 20 minutes
  10. Have another cup of coffee
  11. Feed kids - make small talk - get them on the bus successfully without having to chase the bus driver down in my tacky Old Navy polar fleece jammies, to come back and get them. Do ALL of this in three minutes flat!
  12. More coffee
  13. Get other two kids up and ready for school
  14. Feed cats - pet cats
  15. Get other two kids off to school
  16. Check various *stuff* on computer; i.e., blog, Facebook, Twitter, any money left in bank account (of course not). Take this time as well to chat, play a little Farmville, etc., before the domesticated duties begins.
  17. Insert IV from coffee pot directly into my arm
  18. Gather laundry - do laundry
  19. Sweep floors - Mop floors
  20. Clean dishwasher - Fill dishwasher
  21. Find something/anything to dust - clean windows if necessary, which means 5-6 times a day
  22. Find carpet somewhere that needs to be vacuumed
  23. Make a list of errands to do - do list of errands made yesterday (hopefully I'll get a Starbucks treat out of it)
  24. Make a to-do list of what I did today, to do tomorrow


ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! See, I even put YOU to sleep with this list! WAKE UP! I'm not done talking to you about this yet!



You get the picture here? How freaking boring is this lifestyle?


As the kids get picked up and come home from school, my life will be filled once again with various chores of figuring who wants what for a snack and how many times I have to tell them to get started on their homework.


Then there's dinner, a little more computer time or complaining about one another family time, read a few books, maybe some TV (24 is a MUST on Mondays!), then bedtime. About the most excitement I get out of the day is having to spend over an hour convincing/begging/pleading/bribing Nia to go bed. For some reason, she seems to think that she is the only one in the Universe that does not need sleep of any kind (she was born a Pod person from another planet, I'm sure, and that's why I sat on an ice pack for two weeks after she was born!). I/the entire family is usually left chasing this child all over the house until at some point, we find her in some obscure spot in the house where she has finally passed out from exhaustion. At least she's asleep!


How bloody monotonous can one woman's life be?!


Extremely!


This should all be okay and irritating quite fulfilling, but after doing over and over, with a some daily adjustments here and there, it becomes just downright irksome!


I don't need a makeover, makeover; I need a lifestyle makeover. Life is about to change drastically for me anyway since I'm about to be separated...... Oops! I let the bag out on that one didn't I? We will talk about this later so don't be bombarding me with like, fifty million phone calls and emails on the subject. Yeah, yeah, it's official cause we just spent this morning separating the cell phone account - that makes it a sealed deal! It's like, no big deal or anything; I'm just becoming another marriage statistic and life goes on with me soon to be a single parent of four incredibly maniacal charming children.


Except my life has landed smack dab in the middle of downtown Dullsville! I will be starting back to school in May, but am at a complete loss at how to deal with this rut I'm in, in the meantime.


So what's a 40-something mom to do for excitement? Please don't mention nightclubs as those are so 20-something and completely overrated. So I looked around and found some exciting things in my community that I thought I could get involved in for women my age and maybe I could get a general concensus from my fellow readers on what I should get my feet wet with. Here's a list:



  • Needlepoint lessons (preparing for those days when I become a grandma)
  • Jazzercise (do people still wear those thong thingies over their workout tights?)
  • "Stitching and Bitching" (crochet with a bunch of other disgruntled soon-to-be ex-wives)
  • Palates for the flexible-challenged
  • Yoga for the focused-challenged and pretzel-position-challenged
  • Go biking and inhale exhaust fumes for 2 hours *cough* *cough* *gag* *gag*
  • Mall walking with the possibility of getting shot at like what happened soon after moving to this area (it would be exciting!)
  • Tennis for those who live with a metal plate in their neck and a half busted ankle from walking through a park
  • Ceramics (would be great for those frustrating days where I can actually throw a plate that looks like the ex, at a wall)
  • Festive Shoelace Design classes
  • Fake Flower Making classes
  • Look for a job and subject myself to extreme humiliation as potential employers, one by one, look at my resume and say "You've only been raising children for 12 years and you want to apply for WHAT position.... Bawhahahahahahaha!!!". Thus leaving them with a laughter induced heart attack that sends them flying off the back of their executive leather chairs - Dead. On. The. Floor! Now that their position is open... I think I could do that job.
  • Join a self-help group for bored domesticated moms/house(ex)wives
  • Surfing for Adults (don't forget the case of BenGay and line up a future chiropractor)
  • "Get Happy By Making Your Family Happy", self-help classes at the local Y



Again, this has been another week saved by Jack Bauer and the cast of 24.



I know I'll snap out of this soon as the next few weeks will be full of separating his and hers, what-nots, and whatever's in preparation for my new life as a single mom. I knew this was gonna be an exciting year for changes.


WHOO HOO - YIPPIE YI YO KI YAY!



What I really need though, is a whole mess of girlfriends who are willing to take me out and have a chocolate and coffee orgy, and make me forget about boredom and the long hard road ahead. Since my best girlfriend is waaaay out in Arizona, I might have to hire a few to take her place.


I think maybe I'm not so much bored as I am lonely and friend-challenged.


Like I said, I'll snap out of this and we'll all have a good laugh about it next week as I regain my sense of insanity for life.


But feel free to donate to my chocolate fund. In the meantime, I'm gonna go snort cocoa powder while I'm waiting.


*ching* *ching* ------ *ching* *ching*