Friday, August 13, 2010

Changes in Latitude.... Changes in Attitude

No, I did not recently attend a Jimmy Buffet concert. Just a stinking saying that plopped into my head when I sat down to start writing this. It does fit considering changes have occurred upon moving to a new location.

Well, we're getting settled into our new house here in Auburn sans furniture, just fine. Thank God someone left their small kitchen table and chairs behind or we'd be eating dinner on our new hardwood floors and we all know just how lovely it can be scraping spilt spaghetti sauce on those floors. Especially if it's dried.... ewwwww!

The kids are all happy to be back here and they've found their old friends and are making new ones. Can't say that getting up at 6 a.m., for them has been very joyous since they're all use to sleeping till, like.... 10 in the morning! I've been thinking about going to the local fire department and borrowing that emergency siren for about a week to get the message across that when I say get up, I mean get up now.

Nia has been the worse. Suddenly that child has obtained the worse case of the nasties about getting up and going to school that I have ever seen. Dang! I thought getting Nadia up in the morning was torture, but Nia takes the cake.

For the past few mornings she has thrown the most horrid tantrums. I swear to God, and God can vouch for me on this one; that child turns into Satan the moment I switch that light on and try to wake her.

Not only do I find her at the foot of her bed, but she's formed this fluffy cocoon around herself. and it's like peeling an onion trying to find her. Then when I do, she growls! Oh yes she does - she growls at me. Just like my pre-teen Nadia does.

"Leave me alone!", she screeches

"Time to get up sweeties.", I quietly chime

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!!", she roars back

"It's time for school sweetie.", I say back while biting my lip cause I'm bracing myself for the green ca-ca to come flying out of her mouth any moment during this pre-Exorcist moment.

"I.... wanna.... SLEEP! I... don't..... wanna..... get..... UP!!! Go AWAY!" she says as the green ca-ca starts seeping from the corners of her *girlish* little mouth.

Then the growling starts and she starts yanking the covers back over her body and rolling herself up in them so I'll have to unpeel her once again.

I walk away to tend to the others as they slowly creep from the dark confines of their rooms and steer them in the direction of the kitchen cause it's a new house and quite frankly, they could get lost and wind up in the back yard in the greenhouse thinking toast and jam are going to be served up there.

Oh yes, it CAN happen in my family!

After prodding and poking, pleading and praying, Nia is finally up and pouting at our somebody left it - but maybe we'll keep it kitchen table. She's now growling at the other three kids as they slurp honey toasted O's into their own sleep stupor state of beings which causes them to slowly move their chairs further and further from her presence.

For once, I would really like to wake to one of those "Brady Bunch" mornings around here!

Luckily, I have managed to get them all dressed, fed, and off to school without anyone being, like.... an hour tardy to class..... yet; and this is JUST the first week.

Now, her curiosity and experimental *phases* have also taken a new turn since moving here.

The other night, her and Toni had finished up their baths and fighting over who was going to get to use mommy's coconut-vanilla lotion afterwards. I was busy cleaning what little I have in the way of furnishings out in the sunroom while I listened to them babble and argue, but finally settle.

It was quiet for a few minutes, but soon Nia came bouncing out into the sunroom saying "Mommy, mommy... LOOK!"

It was a bit dim and I had to look hard at her face, but dog-gone-it, there it was. Or should I say was NOT.

Nia had managed, in the short quiet period of time (and we ALL been warned about that "quiet time"), to reach up and get the hubs (I say with angry eyes), razor - which by the way, he is always yelling at Nadia to keep hers hidden away - and managed to shave her freaking left eyebrow OFF!

Nia was proud - I screamed - Nia soon realized it was an "Uh, Oh" moment and sank to the floor in front of me as I stood up to run to the bathroom to see where Nadia's razor was (thinking it was hers), but soon found the hubs razor in plain sight on the side of the sink.

It was blue, Julian is too young yet to shave and Nadia use's pink razors.

He's dead!

I called him on the phone as he was out getting yet more milk the kids seem to think we have an endless supply of these days. While I had him on the phone, I dropped the wonderful news on him and made sure he knew it was his fault.

Bad Daddy! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad daddy!

I reminded him of all the things that could have gone wrong like her shaving her eyeball off into the sink, or her eyelid as well; or the many ways she could have shaved various bald spots on her head and we would have to break down and buy a Hannah Montana wig for her to wear in kindergarten for the next few months.

Then I politely asked him to also pick up two eyebrow pencils in light and dark brown so I could fake a eyebrow for her in the morning as she is now crying on the floor at my feet realizing that she has NO eyebrow and that she now thinks she looks like a hairless alien and won't go to school ever.... again!

Great! Waking up Nia in the morning just got MORE fun!

Now mornings now are filled with straightening hair on my kids that looks like it exploded in the middle of the night, making/packing lunches, color coordinating outfits, and painting eyebrows on!

Her being embarrassed by it all is actually my fault, of course, since I could have been a little more diplomatic about it instead of screaming like Bigfoot himself just walked into the door. Or maybe I should say a naked Bigfoot walked in the door.

I should have done something like say "That's really nice sweetie.", then gone in my own room and passed out cold!

Bad Mommy! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad mommy!

So along with location changes, some of us are and still need some attitude changes.

Nia needs to learn that razors are only for BIG people and that getting up in the morning does not include parental abuse, and I need to learn that screaming is best left to bad B horror flicks with stale popcorn. Either that or when the house is *literally* burning to the ground.

Which reminds me..... I haven't seen any smoke detectors in this house yet.


Elizabeth said...

Great post, thanx for the sharing.

crazy ramblings of a tired mom said...

I think its a girl thing, because my daughter is the same way.


Did she shave one, or both her eyebrows off?