Sunday, January 24, 2010

There Is Life Beyond the Internet.... Well... Uh... Kinda

My internet went down for almost four days this week after my modem went ca-PUT. Modem was replaced, but then the whole internet system as we know got shoved in some megabyte corner of the cybersphere. MediaCom said it was because their server wasn't reading the IP addresses.

In other words, someone tripped over the electrical cord and it took them almost four days to realize that it needed to be plugged back in.

I figured that that was a very huge income loss for a lot of people. If there were one million computer addicts making $100 an hour during a 12 hour day with their internet-based businesses, that would be a $4.8 billion loss of income for that four day period.


Now my figures may be a little off on this because I have only had two cups of coffee this morning, so the brain cells have not hit Turbo Max level yet; so feel free to correct me if you wish. Which I'm sure a lot of you will because at this age, I feel lucky that I can still understand what my measuring cups mean.

The real question is: "Do we all still have to PAY for that loss of internet usage?" I'll contemplate that after my sixth cup of coffee.

Now during those four days, I had a whole bunch of time on my hands. It taught me one thing, I spend way too much time on my computer. Dang! The kids were right this time - but if you think I'm gonna tell them that - HA!

I thought that I would share a few ideas/suggestions with the rest of you on how you can best use your time if your internet decides to take a long hiatus while someone at the internet company figures out that they need to plug their system back in as well. This is what one can do in a week's time while losing their mind waiting patiently for their service to come back online.

  • Learn to speak several different languages fluently - 3 to be exact! You'll be the envy of all your friends and will most likely be asked to host several parties to show off your new talent. "Oui, oui! Mettez vos culottes sur la grande fille et de le faire!"

  • Spring clean your house - five different times! Never can get started too early on that stuff, especially for those of us who have kids. You will simply amazed at how much you are still finding under those darling children's beds after the fifth cleaning cycle. I never knew mold came in that shade of purple before.

  • Organize your office - for once! I never knew mold grew on paper in that same shade of purple before either.

  • This is a great time to go through your kids old school work that you've been collecting. Yes, every... single... piece... that the kids have EVER brought home needs to be weeded out. One does not have to keep every... single... piece... of math, spelling, and art that every kid has brought home since their first day at day care. Keep the good drawings that one can tell what they are - toss the rest! Make sure you have plenty of Kleenex nearby.

  • This is also another good time to reorganize how and when you pay those bills. It was amazing how I found a way to stretch out the number of yearly monthly payments on those pesky medical bills that Julian and I managed to rack up last year - all 15 of them - because we had such an addiction to the ER all summer!

  • It's also a beneficial time to go ahead and rip up all those plants you spent too much money on painstakingly planted over the summer because your better half "forgot" to throw the old tarp on top of them so that WOULDN'T FREEZE when the temps went into the 20's a few weeks ago. Dang! I thought that reminding him 20 times and setting the tarp and bricks out for him would send the message.

  • This is also a good time to spend some quality time smacking yourself in the head with that same brick because YOU KNOW that you should have done it yourself in the first place.

  • I found that the lack of internet service for almost four days enabled me to make a few phone calls so that I could use up all those "rollover" minutes that I just didn't manage to eliminate last month. That took all of about two hours.

  • I managed to get my lingerie drawer organized again.


Tap... tap... tap... tap... tap.........

Pace inside...... Pace outside...... Feed the cats..... Channel surf.... yawn!

I finally decide to play with computer a bit; figure out what some of the programs I haven't paid any attention to actually do. Click on System Preferences and play around with my Network Connections which are not connected! Click Airport; click NetGear (which is my router), and SUDDENLY.....

OMG - The MOM BLOGGERS CLUB suddenly shows up on my browser - which I still had sitting on Safari so I could occasionally stop by and click Refresh!!

"Oh thank you Dear God for this miracle of ALL miracles!"

I am now on the floor kissing my NetGear router and all cables connected to it. PLUS! I have officially arrived to the 21st Century waaaaayyyy ahead of anyone in my family.

I..... AM..... COMPLETELY..... WIRELESS.... !
Is that legal to say here?

Who NEEDS MediaCom and all their server issues now?

I have wireless internet, I have a wireless printer, and now all I have to do is.....

figure how to get my computer to connect to the wireless printer.

Life is getting way too complicated here!


Tara R. said...

Wireless is the way to go!

Four days? I don't know whether i could survive the withdrawal symptoms.

Cassie said...

From the title, I thought I was going to have to accuse you of sacrilege but you came back to the dark side. Welcome.

Gordon said...

As Always Wonderfully Silly!


Cassie - They don't call me Darth Vadar around here for nothing, LOL!

Gingers Mom said...

I may have nightmares. What a terrifying story. Is this an urban legend? DO people really survive FOUR days without internet. Shudder....

Lea said...

Oh, that happened to me just last month! I was flipping out!

I gave you an award at

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