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Friday, December 11, 2009

Because of the Holidays, I'm A Candidate for OCD

I came home today completely prepared to knock off the rest of the holiday decorations, minus the tree cause the rest of the kids can't seem to get themselves in their tree-decorating mode. I walked into the house, and I don't know, but I think I was having some sort of pre-menopausal moment because I suddenly envisioned germs and bacteria invading everything at that moment.


Call it a self-made obsessive compulsive moment, but I grabbed the huge container of disinfectant wipes and begin wiping everything down. There I was, still in my solid white, down-filled coat complete with fur-lined hood (cause I had just come from dropping the midget off at Pre-K), down on all floors while cleaning baseboards and cabinet sides with gobs of Lysol soaked towelettes.


Does this happen to anyone? Kinda of like a spring cleaning moment meets holiday insanity!


There my living room stood, filled to the brim with dusty boxes from the garage, and the cats back into the bubble wrap. But during my whole cleaning fit; and I must tell you now that even though my son keeps his room spotless, that bathroom of his has GOT TO GO!


Oh GOD, talk about disgusting! I was completely absent of any clothespins, which I don't think I've seen since I was 10 years old, but I desperately needed at that moment. There went half of that container of Lysol wipes all over ever stitch of porcelain, tile, and, bathroom cabinetry I could scrub. Plus the Softscrub (I think I'm plugging a lot of cleaning products here), mirror cleaner, and whatever else I could get my hands on to rid myself of the germ filled entities I knew were crawling all over ever surface area in the room.


I was killing COOTIES! Ready to barf yet?


But I HAD to do it, you know? I couldn't even THINK about decorating until I knew those buggars were gone.


I'm I going crazy here?


So by the time I rid myself of newfound OCD behavior, I'm back to decorating the fireplace after I let Remi, our oldest cat of one year, out the back door because he's screaming up a fit to get out. First I have to removed all the fragile items and pack them in the same bubble wrap that the Christmas stuff was stored in so that it will be an easy switch once the holidays are over.


Who am I kidding here? There is never anything as an easy switch before or after the holidays. Just ask every stinking retail clerk in every mall and department store in the country!


It puts my mind at ease though, knowing that the stuff won't get broken in some faraway corner that Nia and Toni will eventually find, play with, and break because I was too tired/lazy to store it correctly. It makes me feel good to know I've outsmarting them every now and then!


Meanwhile, Remi is now screaming to get back in to the house. What is up with this cat today?


So Julian and I pack the stuff up and start arranging Nativity and Nutcracker scenes amongst green garland adorned with tiny holly berry's. We finish it all off with a green wreath with gold and red trimming at the top of the fireplace. Julian ends his decorating moment by disguising cat-ravaged poinsettia's in vase so that one cannot notice the dismemberment of leaves and berries. Then he's off to the front yard to start unraveling reindeer and spiral trees from their half-smashed boxes in the garage.


He's such a trooper during the holidays. Because it makes the boy so excited to do this stuff, that one can see the bladder just overflowing with joy!


I begin to store the excess bubble wrap in the Christmas storage box when Remi slowly meanders towards me as I'm rolling wads of the stuff up in my arms. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, he squats and begins to pee on the last remaining bubble wrap on the floor that is laying right beside my foot.


I quickly grab him up, while scolding "NO Remi!", and take him outside.


WHAT is up with this cat?


Oh no, here it comes - the OCD thing!


I quickly take the bubble wrap outside and hose it down. Back into the house I go for some bleach because any normal person would have just thrown it away and be done with it. But we are in an economic recession and NOTHING is to be thrown away anymore. "Reuse and Recycle!" has replace "Be However Freaking Decadent You Wanna Be!".


I'm cleaning it and I'm reusing it! Which I did, and then buffed it dry with a clean towel.


There is something definitely wrong with ME!


I'm back inside packing my clean, fresh bubble wrap in the storage box and rolling it back into the garage. As I'm walking back into the house, I am suddenly hit with the exact same feeling as I had when I had first arrived from dropping Nia off:


I - have - to - clean - NOW!



Since Remi nearly did his thing on the bubble wrap, I was paranoid now that he actually did something and soon the smell would permeate the whole house. Lysol wipes were once again my close companion as I was back on that floor scrubbing it down till all I could smell (and did smell for about two hours), was the fresh scent of bleach and disinfectant.


I was about to head outside to help Julian after that when my moment of peace was quickly interrupted by Remi again. He was now perched on the outside of the living room window. He was screaming to the top of his kitty lungs to get back inside.


I guess he wasn't too partial to that even colder wind we were having today, hmmmm?


The only thought that really entered into my mind at this moment was: "How fast can I make a kitty suit out of Lysol wipes?"

5 comments:

OLLIE MCKAY'S ~ A Chic Boutique said...

Well. . . .Hmmm. . . .stranger things have happened I would guess!! LOL!! Take deep breaths and a quick fast paced walk and it will get you more back to the moment ~ I do it all the time for calming and destressing!!

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

I'm glad to say that I think I'm back to normal. I haven't taken one single look at the Lysol wipes today. I'm actually chalking this one up to hormones.

Naomi de la Torre said...

Hilarious. I had the opposite kind of day yesterday. I wish I had been swimming in lysol, but instead was swimming in macaroni sludge/biohazard. Check out my latest blog if you have time. But make sure you bring a barf bag:) Hehe. organicmotherhoodwithcoolwhip.com

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING said...

I believe a bio-hazard should come with every "New Mom' kit that the hospitals dole out!

Naomi de la Torre said...

Me too!! And a head to toe biohazard protection astonaut-style outfit. Hahahahaha!! organicmotherhoodwithcoolwhip.com