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Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Game Of Life


So the house has still been absolutely nuts for the past few weeks. Nia is starting to come out of her "sick" phase. I took her to the doctor last week and found out that those little fire ant bites were actually a spider bite; we assume from a Wolf Spider by the symptoms she was exhibiting.


Poor thing! She's had it rough this past month.


To top it all off, she has a double ear infection - one which I knew about - the other completely shocked me. The child can't hear a dad-burn thing these days. We walk around the house like were talking to a 90 year old woman who keeps having to turn her hearing aid up to hear, "Wanna Cookie!".


THAT'S how you test the true hearing of a child. If you ever suspect your child is "faking" an ear problem; just whisper "Wanna cookie", or "Want some chocolate!", in a low voice and see how well they hear.


Trust me - it works EVERY time!


In this case, Nia is nearly deaf! When I have to yell if she wants dessert and she's only five feet away; she's deaf! Temporarily thank goodness cause all this yelling is giving me those dreaded migraines which I have become so pissed off about fond of lately.


Have we talked about the separation of late? Oh, we haven't! That's cause it's moving in extra slow motion these days! He moved his business equipment out so that he could start working in a town nearby. NOW he is finding "excuses" on how he doesn't think that is going to work out and he's only been at for 2 weeks now.


But he sure does have a serious ongoing working relationship with Julian's Xbox Live these days. He'd be a millionaire if he got a penny for every hour he spends on that thing of late. Put it this way, my son is hiding the power cord when he goes to school because it's getting so bad.


That gets PRETTY bad when the child suddenly becomes the parent of video game usage!


This was the conversation between the two of them this morning:


"Dad! You left the Xbox on all night again!"


"No I didn't - I turned it off."


"Noooo you didn't cause I just turned it off. The thing is so hot it feels like it's been on the stove all night."


"Oops!"


"If you don't start turning that thing off at night, you're gonna burn out my hard drive and we don't have the money to replace it because of your irresponsibility!"


Remember! This is my SON talking to the sperm donor.


"I'm a Bad Daddy!", he says as he starts shrinking in his seat.


"I'm gonna have to start limiting your time on that thing if you can't remember to take care of it!"


Julian proceeds to turn around, stomp out of the room, and slam the door.


I just give the hubs a long, hard, cold, "You will sleep with the outdoor critters instead of on the sofa if you break my son's Xbox", stare. He asked for it!


So instead I began my focus on the plumber coming today to fix Julian's shower; it won't turn on and the hot water won't turn off. That led to a $50 increase in my electric bill last month. I'm so glad I was told after the bill came in that there was a problem.


I wondered why Julian kept taking showers in Nadia's bathroom. I thought he was.... well.... nevermind.


The art of communication completely sucks in this household sometimes.


He's here right now contemplating whether or not the shower pipe is leaking water behind the wall. Well at least we'll find out before the tiles come busting out on the Xbox Live addict taking a bath in there.


Actually, that would be great on video! Maybe I could turn THAT into a video game he could zone out on!


Speaking of games; it's amazing all the time one can waste on Farmville when kids are busy being sick. There does come a point in a parents life when doing constant laundry, and making special "sick" meals becomes an absolute drag! One must find an outlet.


Since the weather has been *uncommonly* cold (that's how the weatherperson put it one day), playing outdoors, or biking, has come... well... is basically non-existent in this household.


Again, this family would NEVER make it in Minnesota!


So with sick kids stuck inside most of the time for the past month, I'm sick of the TV except when 24 or Bill Maher comes on; I have gravitated to working my online farm. I'm working on the vineyards now:




I know, I know; I'm an adult and should be doing better things with my time. Call it my creative outlet and it has lead to a renewed interest in my backyard.


As the hubs so eloquently put it last night; he's into killing stuff and I'm into growing and nurturing stuff.


So my online obsession led me to rip up the whole right side of my backyard of old plants and new-growth trees whose roots are determined to invade my yard from the neighbors. What I thought would take 15 minutes, instead took me over two sweaty hours of pulling, raking, and bagging of yard ca-ca.


Boy did I smell! How my pheromones in my sweat started smelling like cat spray at this age I'll never know! I definitely WON'T be attracting any hot dates any time soon!


After finishing the yard, making two dozen of what I call my "One Cup Cookies", in which only eight are left after sharing with the neighbors and various family members sneaking them all through the night - I'm getting ready to make another two dozen after the plumber leaves.


I think I can finish off a dozen before the kids get home and proceed to devour the rest!


As I see it, the weather is finally getting back to normal, biking is in my near future, Farmville is about to get deserted, so I'll working off all those cookies during gardening and peddling. No remote control needed!


Oh, and while I'm taking my new Zumba classes I signed up for yesterday (because I just found out what they are and think they are the coolest!); will someone - ANYONE - make sure the sperm donor turns off Julian's Xbox while I'm out?