Friday, October 23, 2009

I Am SUCH a Neurotic Ninny!

So my son goes into the ER tonight because I, the neurotic ninny, think he is dying of some exotic disease from Pluto because his neck is so swollen that he resembles more of an elephants leg than the bocci ball I gave birth to 12 years ago.

I imagine after pouring through endless sites on the net, that he has the mumps, diphtheria, or worse - the dreaded "C" word. I cannot find anything to explain the increased swelling and pain my son has had for two days. Not to mention that Toni and Nia had the same bout with it just a few weeks earlier.

After going round and round about it with the hubs, he and Julian head for the ER about 6 p.m. I sit at home with the girls and play cards, surf the web, communicating with a few family members and friends, argue on Facebook about whether organic meat or conventional meat will kill you faster, and so on.

I even found time to pack some dinner for the boys and take it over to the ER for them cause it's a Friday night and everyone (I'm experienced in this now), knows that they are slammed on Fridays cause that's the only time people apparently get sick or in accidents.

Around 11 p.m., the boys finally get home. Anxious to hear what my son has been diagnosed with, I am met instead with the two of them just staring at me and laughing.

Come to find out, all my son has been stricken with is a life-altering, possibly life-threatening CRICK IN THE NECK.

Translation: he slept on it the wrong way.

So in our house, we are passing around Crickus In-us the Neckus to one another at the moment. If you see one of us on the streets with thick necks and a strange contorted face, you will know one of us has been afflicted with this malady. I don't think it's contagious, but I know from personal experience that it can lead to Stupiditis NoBrainus.

So if anyone out there is passing out a "Neurotic Ninny" award this year, I would like to nominate myself at this time. Because my saying I feel rather stupid about this whole event just doesn't cut the cheese.


Gondooo said...

Carolyn I have so many said awards (and many other of the same nature) stuffed in my closet I dare not open it for fear of a life threatening avalanche!
So, since when did crickitus inus the neckus result in such swelling!? I would've been in ER as well. :D

Draft Queen said...

Ah. The joys of being a mother.

I've learned NOT to google health conditions. All I do is freak myself out.

Tara R. said...

WebMD is evil! Glad your son is okay. If it makes you feel better, I prolly would have been at the ER too.

dddiva said...

LOL sorry couldn't help it- I'm not laughing with you I'm laughing at you. ;)

We had the blonde in the ER this weekend she had a UTI and a heartrate of 140 and what do they worry about - a slight cough they masked her and whisked her back- at least they got us in fast.

KaLynn said...

If it makes you feel any better, I would have had my son at the ER too! And I've had 5 kids and have never, ever, hear of a crick in your neck causing swelling! So you are not alone!