Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Obama Will Forever Be Immortalized as a Head of Alfalfa

After all is said and done, Obama will not be remembered just as the President who mounted sweeping changed in health care. Nor will he just be remembered as the President who pulled us out of two wars (well, maybe on that one). President Obama will forever be remembered by Americans, the world, and future historians as.....

Chia Obama!

"What the hell you talking about woman?", you may be asking.

Well, I was watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta for the first time last night on the Bravo station when this commercial came on. Frankly, I thought it was a pretty funny joke and was expecting characters, past and present, from Saturday NIght Live to come on any moment.

But there was no Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, and no Dan Aykroyd doing Nixon, nor was there a Bush diddy by Will Ferrell. This was a serious commercial and after my hard core laughter sent my chicken noodle soup out my nose, I was left feeling a bit dumbfounded at what I had just watched.

Advertised in this commercial; and by the way, I am in NO WAY endorsing this product or anything like it (I just had to notify the FTC so that this post would not result in a $11,000 fine over a bloody Chia Head).

I just find it completely amazing that there are people in this country that would actually shell out $19.99 for this thing to show their.... well, whatever their trying to show by purchasing it .

Anyway, they advertise it as a special edition "collectors item" (yeah, right along with my collection of, uh, bread ties, and food stuffs that look like the Virgin Mary). They also say it is a symbol of Liberty, Opportunity, Prosperty, and Hope. Well, I say, if it can give us all that, what the hell do we need with the real Obama then?

Am I wrong or does this thing look absolutely nothing like President Obama?

It also tries to convince us that owning a Chia Obama makes the statement that "I'm proud to be an American."


I didn't know that owning a Chia Pet was a requirement for being a proud American. But I've been wrong before. They also tell you to display it at your office, home, or school. Do you know what my family would do if I brought home a clay head that grew alfalfa grass out the top and told them I was proudly displaying the President of the United States on my desk.

Yeah, that's right, remember that hot pink straight jacket I said they were gonna get for me one day. Well, that would be the day right there folks. Carting me off as I still hold this green headed funky dude and calling it Obama.

I wonder if President Obama has seen this thing yet? Do you think he's holding his head in his hands while hiding in the closet from this thing, or did Michelle have to have him carted off to the hospital to be sedated cause he was laughing his ass off so hard that he just couldn't stop.

I would opt for the latter - it would be far more explainable and understandable to the press.

Do you think that the world officially thinks us as nuts if they see this thing being advertised, much less bought by anyone in this country?

And was Bush ever humiliated in this manner? I don't ever remember a Chia Bush! But then, advertising that might have been mistaken as a pornographic gesture and there would have been hell to pay, and Cheney would have declared the makers of Chia Pets national terrorists or something.

So now Obama's legacy will now include being immortalized as a head of alfalfa on somebody's desk(s) somewhere in this country. When his Presidency is long, long gone, he will still live on as some people in this country will faithfully continue to smear seeds on his tiny clay head in the hopes that Liberty, Opportunity, Prosperty, and Hope return if they pat the little sprouts when the grow.

For that, we may need a Chia Miracle.

1 comment:

Tara R. said...

I think the only people benefitting from the 'opportunity and prosperity' of the Chia Obama are the ones raking in the bucks pay by the huddled masses.

The world is truly laughing at us.