Holiday Madness in a Sinking Economy

I have no clue why, but cleaning my fridge this morning made me think of the holidays. What do the two of them have in common? I have NO stinking idea and if you do, please fill me in.

Now as I was thinking about the holidays, it drew me back to last Christmas when we were basically broke, the country was broke, and we were like any other parents; completely frantic about "How" we were going to afford presents for the kids. It was bad... it was real bad.

The kids were "forced" to name only two items they wanted; one from us and one from Santa - that was it! We didn't have the money; we were barely keeping our head above water regarding bills.

I was pissed! Not that we couldn't afford an orgy of presents for the kids, but the fact that cultural conditioning has dictated that you are a LOSER of a parent if you don't! In other words, I am a loser mom if I don't condition my kids to think that Christmas is the time of year to be the biggest asshole of a consumer you can be. Even if you have to knock someone over at a Black Friday sale at WalMart's to do so!

Thank God being poor last Christmas gave me a stinking reality check!

We managed to get the kids exactly the two items each they wanted - how, I have no clue - but we pulled it off. The kids even managed to surprise me with a few gifts of their own which I cherish today - one of which was a new cutting board cause they know how I value a good cutting board in my kitchen. Where they got the money, I have no clue and I didn't ask either.

This year, we plan to do the same as last year - Keep It Freaking Simple!

I no longer am going to be held prisoner by "Madison Avenue" who says I need to spend every last dollar I have, jack up the credit card balances, and beg the doctor for medication to get through the holidays just so corporate thieves and pigs CEO's can sit back and demand lower taxes for themselves while they drain us of every last penny we earn - AND downsize their employees while raising their bonuses because they didn't make their quotas for Christmas!

Let's look at a few growing issues this country has:

▪ China and Russia have decided to renounce the US dollar and resort to using their own currencies for bilateral trade. Dollar bad, dollar real bad now!

▪ Jobless rate jumps to 9.8% and hiring has slowed down.

▪ Federal employees get a 2-year wage freeze while corporations shell out $144 billion in pay and bonuses this year - a 4% increase over last year. BTW, that's your bailout money their giving each other again.

▪ The cost of living has skyrocketed in the past 25 years while minimum wage has only increased 3 times over that period. Which means, if you make minimum wage ($7.25/hour) and working 40 hours a week, you are STILL living in poverty! Hey McDonalds' - you listening???

▪ It's not enough that YOUR money went to bail out more thieves and crooks CEO's in the financial industry of this country, but now YOU are going to bail out Europe as well now!

▪ WalMart is still the only company making money, and still screwing over it's employees as it laughs itself silly to the bank (that you bailed out), and pays more lobbyists so they can assure themselves that you will continue your stampede next year on Black Friday at some God-awful hour of the morning!

▪ No one has any real jobs to offer anyone - this country doesn't make anything anymore.

▪ As of this writing, 2,196,154 homes have been foreclosed on and they have NO idea where to put that freaking Christmas tree or Menorah this year!

But spending GOBS of money

on useless shit

we pretty much don't need is

SO much more important

than these issues - right!

I implore you - no, I'm downright begging you - this year, don't do this. Grandma does NOT need another Chia Pet, and Snuggies are a useless waste of time, energy, and money when you already know how to wear your robe backwards! If you're still cold, get your lazy arss off the sofa and go get a blanket!

This year, we're doing like last year:

2 gifts each,

a bunch of cooking in the sweet department,

and time with friends and family.

Even though we are decking the halls in a lot better condition than last year (major kudos to God on that one!), we are not keeping up with the Joneses anymore.

I seriously can go on (and you know I can), but I'm gonna leave you with a video I saw last night that just smacked me in the face with a big dose of "WTF are we doing as a society?" I'm sharing it with you because I think you and your family are so much more important than the latest "Potty Putter".

"The Madness of a Lost Society"

Oh, now I think I know why the fridge reminds me of the holidays; all of this stinks unless we collectively decide to actually look at the problem and then start cleaning this mess up instead of leaving up to a lousy maid service (Fed Reserve, Wall Street and a bunch of idiots in Washington who care more about their wallets and jobs than you surviving), to do.

Would you leave an unreliable maid service to clean up after the holidays?

What's the difference?

"Black Friday" Lives up to its Name

Disclosure: Just wanted to let you know that HomeGoods and BlogHer provided me with the $25 gift card used in the purchasing of my Christmas decor finds. They're both great; what can I say! You can also check out BlogHer's Exclusive Page for a $100 Gift Card and 20, $25 gift cards as well.

Onto the read:

Black Friday for me started out as a bad makeup session. My everyday foundation took a turn for the dark side this morning as I was smearing yesterday's stress out of existence. Somewhere in the past 24 hours, it went from it's normal peachy beige tone to a "I spent 40 days in the Miami sun", shade.

Some rogue brain cell in my head thought it would just magically change to it's regularly scheduled shade if I just kept spreading it all around various 40-something crevices on my face that have seemed to increase since the B-day last week.

It didn't, and I was looking more like I had a bad streak job from a container of "Tan in a Can".

After washing up and starting ALL over again with a back-up foundation, I found myself the last to enter the van as five members of my family, still on a turkey day sugar high, were taking turns interrogating me as to why I was taking SO long.

Maybe I should have just left the crap on my face and humiliated them in public instead for the day.

"Mommy had to pee - now let's just go!"

The two hour drive to Birmingham was a cloudy, wet one. Luckily, this miraculously forced the hubs to obey all speed limits. It was either that, or the state patrols that seemed to be practicing entrapment cleverly hiding every other mile or so.

We stopped for lunch along the way at a Moe's Burrito place where the hubs and I knew we could catch a glimpse at the just starting Auburn - Alabama, Iron Bowl game. I looked up at the TV after sitting down, only to see a 14-0 score and Auburn's pride and joy - Quarterback Cam Newton - get sacked all at the same time.

My heart sank - it truly was "Black Friday".

We finished up, got back in the car and turned the Sirius radio to the nearest sports station featuring the game between the two long-standing state rivals. We were on the way to HomeGoods where I need to purchase an item for my ever growing Christmas decor.

All along the way, Auburn was making one screw up after another in the 1st half of the game and I was just.... just.... well, just plain pissed off at them. How could they go undefeated all season and then let Alabama - who lost to 2 major teams Auburn beat - win the Iron Bowl game.

Luckily we found HomeGoods before I got emotionally wrapped up in the game. I popped out and made some quick searches throughout the store, and for $25, scored a couple of cute items like a cranberry Christmas tree and a silk poinsettia that does NOT look like the tacky ones sold outside your favorite dollar or grocery store that usually die the day after purchase.

This one had an arrangement of dark wood branches at the base with a nice ribbon holding them together. Which I'm sure, one of the kids will have unwrapped and spread it across the living room floor before Santa even gets close to our house. It's kinda like the tassels on my new sofa pillows. They mysteriously show up on the sofa plucked and pulled apart these days, and I've only had them since September!

"They" blame it on the individual that I don't remember giving birth to: "I Don't Know"!

By the time I get back in the car, Auburn is still figuring how to play a freaking football game. The hubs and I go back and forth between turning the station on or off because it's getting just too darn stressful listening to it, and "entertaining" four kids in the back, and figuring out where the heck we are going. All while trying not to get in a car accident.

I should have rolled the car in bubble wrap like I told my cousin Larry I was gonna do before venturing out today.

I'm a nervous wreck and I can't figure out if it's the game making me that way or the fact that I am the ONLY lunatic attempting to so out on the busiest shopping day of the year with ALL the kids in tow!

We manage to get to the Galleria Mall in one piece, but we are not even 50 freaking feet inside before one of my kids decides it's time to pull out one of their tantrums! We were going to split up in two groups and meet up in a couple of hours.

But NoooooOOOOOOOoooooo!!!

One of my kids doesn't like the grouping arrangements and immediately starts that stubborn like a donkey routine that leads them to yell at ME in the mall, PLUS think it's okay to "knock" my big mama's butt out of their way.

My first instinct was to immediately bleed out of my eyeballs and spin my head around a couple hundred times. I instead opted for canceling the WHOLE trip to the mall and promptly marched their and everyone else back to the car.

Bad behavior, really bad behavior is met with zero, nada, zilch privileges! Unfortunately, we ALL suffered for *the child* I gave birth to, but carries my husbands genes.

The next hour down the road towards Montgomery was filled with the lovely sounds of tears, grumbles, an occasional creative jargon thrown around meant to insult either my decision or the *child's* previous behavior.

I just listened to the game, which by now had completely turned around for Auburn. During our little escapade at the mall, Auburn had managed to come totally from behind in a flash to bring the score to a more acceptable 24-14. Soon after the hubs and I got all warm and fuzzy about it and threw in a couple of high fives for good measure, we had just missed Auburn churn out another touchdown that brought their score to 21 and had them breathing down the necks of Alabama at that point.

The Auburn Tigers were living up to their reputation as the "4th Quarter Team". We kept our ears glued to the radio as we inched closer to Montgomery, and emotions in the back seat had reached a tranquil level. Which pretty much means WE turned on the DVD player so WE could finish listening to the game.

By the time we reached our destination in Montgomery, there was only a minute and 18 seconds left in the game. The score was now 28-27 in Auburn's favor and Alabama had the ball. It was raining, we were excited, and the hubs was doing his absolute WORSE driving ever while awaiting the output of the game.

We pulled into the parking lot of the mall (yeah, we're trying this ONE more time), when suddenly with roughly 51 seconds left in the game ...... INTERCEPTION BY AUBURN - AUBURN WINS THE GAME!!

We happened to be listening to a Rolltide Sports Station, so there was little to no enthusiasm on their part announcing the Auburn win, but our van was bouncing up and down and the hubs was honking the horn over and over, aaaaannnnddd people were walking by looking at us like someone had just let the crazy people out of the mental ward for the evening.

Yes, we can be that obnoxious in public sometimes.

After that, the rest of the evening went completely perfect; all my children were perfect little angels in the mall. I even managed a little Christmas shopping while we were there. They are now grouped together in front of the Wii playing rounds of bowling and golf together and laughing up a storm in the process.

Except for my score (haa, haa, no pun intended), at HomeGoods today, you would have never thought we went out or that the "tantrum" at the mall E-ver happened at all.

Not sure what happened, but whatever it was, it jinxed the first half of both mine and Auburn's game today.

Next year, I'm shopping after the 4th quarter of the game starts!